In the heat of an argument with a loved one, emotions run high, and tensions can escalate quickly. It's during these moments of heightened conflict that our nervous systems can become particularly agitated, leaving us feeling overwhelmed and distressed. However, even in the midst of disagreement and discord, there are powerful tools and coping strategies we can use to calm ourselves.
In this blog post, we'll delve into 50 effective ways to soothe your nervous system specifically when you're upset during an argument with a loved one. From simple grounding exercises to mindfulness techniques and self-care rituals, these strategies offer a diverse array of options for finding peace and equilibrium in the midst of relational conflict. These techniques can help you de-escalate a heated exchange and navigate difficult emotions with compassion.
50 Coping Strategies & Ways to Soothe Your Nervous System When You're Upset:
- Take a break from technology, noise, anything agitating
- Dance (for 1 minute or more)
- Stretch
- Walk (especially barefoot and in nature)
- Sit and rock back/forth in sunlight (wear sunblock)
- Jump on a rebounder or trampoline
- Yoga
- Pilates
- Wall Push-Ups
- Tapping alternate sides of your body
- Progressive Muscle Relaxation
- Box Breathing
- 5-7-8 Breathing
- Hug yourself (while rocking or rubbing upper arms)
- Massage your hands or feet
- Apply a face mask
- Hum or chant
- Sing
- Yawn
- Gargle water
- Splash cold water on face
- Suck on ice cubes or sour candy
- Put hands or feet in cold water
- Take a cold shower
- Do a cold plunge (only for the brave!)
- Wrap yourself in a weighted blanket
- Take a nap
- Listen to music (especially Weightless by Marconi Union)
- Watch some funny videos
- Remember a funny story and have a laugh
- Savor something delicious
- Journal (sit and write about whatever is bothering you)
- Do a Guided Meditation
- Practice mindfulness
- Do a Grounding Exercise
- Do a Gratitude Exercise
- Visualize (vividly remember) pleasant memories or experiences
- Chat with a loved one
- Pet your cat/dog/bird/llama
- Think about something you're looking forward to
- Do something creative - paint, knit, doodle
- Write a letter to a friend
- Organize 1 drawer in your home
- Organize 1 box in your closet or garage
- Work in your garden (something repetitive, like raking, picking up leaves)
- Engage in aromatherapy (use essential oils or scented candle)
- Use a stress ball or squeeze a soft object
- Play with a fidget spinner or fidget toy
- Practice self-compassion by speaking kindly to yourself
- Read a loving card that your partner gave you
I recommend experimenting with the different techniques listed above and then selecting your top 3 strategies to use next time you're dysregulated. We need to remind ourselves that feelings are like waves: they come, they crash in on us, they start to fade away. Our goal is to tolerate the crash as best we can and to help ourselves stay afloat during the process. My hope is that these strategies will help you do just that!
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