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WBGO INTERVIEW - DR. KATHY ON DEPRESSION, ANXIETY, & ANGER
Please use the above control to hear Dr. Kathy's interview
QUESTION: My boss called me into his office the other day and told me he's been receiving complaints about my attitude and mood swings. What can I do?
ANSWER: Thank you for your honesty in sharing this. I know it's hard to share personal details with a stranger.
Sometimes I find that when we're not feeling very good, we tend to have a hard time controlling our responses to situations. We may even act in ways that seem out of character.
The fact that you are wanting to do something suggests to me that you've already taken an important first step: you recognize that things could be better and want to make a change.
I'd suggest you start by examining how you feel. How do you feel in general? How do you feel about work? How do you feel about your family and your relationships?
If you find that there are areas where you feel angry or like you have less influence than you should, I'd recommend the following exercise:
Take out a sheet of paper and draw three lines on it so that you have four columns. In column 1, write down all of the thoughts and feelings that are upsetting to you. You might write: I have too much work, things are constantly getting dumped on me, people don't pull their fair share at work, I am not getting paid what I deserve. Just write anything and everything you can think of.
In column 2, write down how much this thought bothers you on a scale of 1-10, where 1 means it's not such a big deal and 10 means it's overwhelming.
In column 3, write down what you can personally do to make the situation better. Really challenge yourself to come up with some new ideas. If you can't come up with anything, ask someone you trust to give you some thoughts. Also, keep reality and legality in mind - yes, you could start your own company, but that requires some planning and financial backing. Yes, you probably could do terrible things to your boss. I'll tell you what I tell everyone I work with - I care too much about you to see you do something that will land you in jail. We should be able to come up with some better solutions - such as ones that don't involve the police.
In column 4, create an action plan for how you are going to implement some of your ideas to make the situation better.
Then go out and start to make gradual changes. I hope this helps.
QUESTION: To tell you the truth, I can barely get out of bed in the morning. I hate the mornings, it's like the torture is starting all over again and the only thing I look forward to is going back to sleep. I am worried about losing my job and I know my family is suffering. What should I do?
ANSWER: I hear you and I know just how you feel. You are not alone, so many of the people I talk to feel exactly the way you do.
The first thing to do is to start moving - just start doing a little bit more and setting some small goals for yourself. The fact that you are still working is good and I think you should keep working. It would also help for you to increase your physical activity, because this increases the production of "feel good" chemicals in your brain.
When you think about doing something and you hear yourself saying, "I don't feel like doing that", imagine that every step you take is a step that will help you feel better.
Start planning activities and outings with friends and family. The more time you spend with people who love you, the better you will feel. I know you feel like being alone and pushing everyone away, but trust me when I tell you that you will feel better by spending time with the people you love. It doesn't have to be a big thing - maybe it's a phone call or a walk around the neighborhood - start small and build up.
These two changes should really make a difference in how you are feeling and there are lots of great self-help books that I would recommend. One of my favorites is Mind Over Mood by Greenberger and another really good one is 10 Days to Self Esteem by David Burns. I also have more tips and strategies on my website that can help.
Please feel free to email me if you'd like some more suggestions. I hope you're feeling better soon.
QUESTION: As I am driving to work in the morning, I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach and just know something awful is going to happen. Sometimes during the day, I'll break into a sweat for no reason and find myself obsessing about the same thoughts over and over again. Can you help me?
ANSWER: Yes, this is a really common reaction to the stressful world we live in and many of the people I work with feel just this way.
There are a couple of exercises I'd like you to try.
Begin by writing down all of the thoughts and feelings that you find yourself worrying about.
For each thought you listed, try to substitute a more positive and realistic thought. If you're having trouble coming up with something, ask a trusted friend or your spouse to help you.
Then list the advantages and disadvantages of all your negative thoughts.
After you've done this, examine the evidence for each one of you negative thoughts: Instead of assuming that a Negative Thought is true, examine the actual evidence for it.
If you like the idea of talking to people about how you're feeling and what is worrying you, you can try two other techniques: (1) The Survey Method: where you do a survey to find out if your thoughts and attitudes are realistic or (2) The Experimental Method: where you Do an experiment to test the accuracy of your Negative Thought.
I always tell the people I work with to follow the evidence. If there is evidence that shows your thought or feeling is not true, maybe we need to consider that it's not likely and may not be true. Sometimes we tend to think about worst case scenarios and we do better when we are forced to ask ourselves, "Ok, how likely is it that that will happen?"
One last technique to try is to talk to yourself in the same compassionate way you might talk to a dear friend who was upset. Talking nicely to yourself, even though it sounds like it will not make much of a difference, really does make you feel better.
I hope these techniques will help you, please feel free to let me know if I can help you further.
QUESTION: I feel like everyone starts in therapy and ends up on some kind of drug. I am not into taking mood-altering medication. What is your opinion about medication?
ANSWER: This is a tough topic and I really respect everyone's feelings about medication. Some people like taking pills, others absolutely don't.
Coming from a scientific background, I have to say that what really convinces me what to believe are the research reports that I read.
In just thinking about antidepressants, one study found that people who took medication and did talk therapy improved much faster than other groups who just took medication or did therapy alone - although the therapy only group had just the same success rate over time.
Another study found that chemical changes in the brain can cause depression and similarly, being depressed can cause chemical changes in the brain. So if there are chemical changes taking place, it seems like medication is appropriate. But taking any medication is something you really need to talk to your medical doctor about.
That said, I've worked with people who've gotten better with and without medication. If someone does not want medication, I never tell them that they should be on it. If I think someone might benefit from medication, I may suggest it, but only if they are feeling really badly or are not getting better as fast as we'd like.
Would you like to learn more about Zyprexa, Wellburtin, Effexor, Lexapro, or Paxil? Click Here for WebMD.com
Would you like to learn more about homeopathic medications for depression and anxiety, such as GABA? Click Here for VitaminGuide.com
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