Most people believe that an affair is the end of your marriage. They believe that you can’t come back from infidelity, that no couple survives something this painful. This is simply not true. Several clinical and population-based studies show that 60–75% of couples reconcile after an affair (Solomon et al., 2006). So you might wonder:  how long do these couples stay together after reconciliation? And are they actually happy? Let's go through what the clinical research, population data, and long-term follow-up studies show.

There’s a point in many relationships where you start to wonder: Should I keep trying… or is it time to let go? It’s one of the hardest questions a person can face, especially when you’ve invested years — maybe decades — of your life, your love, and your hope into someone. You may feel torn between loyalty and exhaustion, love and pain, commitment and self-preservation. As a psychologist, I’ve walked with hundreds of couples through that uncertain middle ground — the place between “we’re trying” and “we’re done.”

If it’s been two years—or five, or even twenty-five—since you found out about the affair, and you still find yourself triggered by random moments, memories, or even your partner’s tone of voice… please hear this: you’re not crazy, weak, or holding on too long. You’re likely dealing with a real trauma response—something many people now refer to as Post-Infidelity Stress Disorder (PISD). And there’s a reason your healing hasn’t just “clicked” with time alone. Let me explain.