Sometimes infidelity isn’t about secret desires or hidden identities — it’s about unresolved trauma. Sexual abuse, especially in childhood or adolescence, can shape adult sexual patterns in confusing and painful ways, even leading to “out-of-character” affairs. Understanding this connection doesn’t excuse the betrayal, but it can help you see the full picture and decide what’s best for your healing.

After infidelity, it’s natural to feel desperate for every detail, even the most intimate ones. Many betrayed partners believe that knowing everything will bring closure, but sexual specifics often make healing harder. These details can fuel intrusive thoughts, intensify trauma, and keep the affair alive in your mind. Learn why protecting yourself from the explicit details may be one of the most important steps toward recovery.

We often ask the wrong question when it comes to infidelity. Instead of wondering “How could they do something so immoral?” we might get closer to the truth by asking, “What kind of pain would drive someone to do something so out of character?” One of the most common things I hear from betrayed partners is: “But they knew it was wrong!” And yes, most people...